Bonjourno, my blogworms! 🙂
In my previous post, I had told you that I was engaged to be married, didn’t I?
Well, since then, I took the plunge and tied the knot, as the pic here shows you. 🙂
To make this marriage happen, I have had to shift countries, (i.e. move from London, UK, to Kolkata, India), accustom and accommodate with my extended family (both on my side as well as my beau’s) and even dabble in some domestic activity (e.g. making cups of tea using a gas cooker, tidying up clothes my hubby leaves lying around [cue for rolling eyeballs welcome] and keeping tabs on my sweet domestic helpers who take care of the lion’s share of housework.
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
In my mind, I’d believed that a marriage is a communion of two hearts, minds and souls.
Et c’est vraiment, so it is!
But. it’s not just about le deux here though…it’s more than that.
Much more than that, might I add.
To make a marriage truly work, one has to be prepared for several reality bites:-
1. Once espoused, you are never completely an individual anymore, i.e. you’ve got to always bear in mind that the buck does not always stop with you alone in some spheres of your life, if not all.
2. Your spouse can demand from you your attention, affection and affirmation any time he/she feels like, because a) he/she has the legal/social/religious rights to and b) although this can seem like intrusion, this positive source of support does wonders to your psychological make-up.
3. Your parents and in-laws will take their own sweet time in adjusting to the fact that their children are no longer singular beings belonging exclusively to them. Yes, this can deplete your reserves of patience and understanding, which is why you’ll need bucket-loads of these so that any hissy-fits occur are within areas of reason and therefore diffusable. This might seem like balderdash to some of you, but being patient and understanding with both sets of parents can bring about double amounts of affection and support to you. It is do-able, says yours truly, a woman who gets easily flustered all the time!
4. Marriage does indeed change You. Keeping close tabs between the way you and your spouse are feeling, via long, digressive, chummy-like dialogues enriches your emotional intelligence and softens up that initial rawness in such relationships.
All this makes you glow from the inside as well as the outside, ya know.
So, cheers to Marriage and to those who believe and respect this exasperating and intriguing institution!