Greetings Dear Blogworms!
Hope the New Year ushers in a fresh breeze of vitality, purpose and spirit!
Indeed, what an original wish….I only just thought of it. 🙂
The last month simply whizzed by for me, with some goodbyes and some hellos, and some moving on, some dreaming and some poise.
How has it been for you?
Or, more importantly, how would you like this year to be for you?
Personally and professionally, I would like to see more and more of us freeing ourselves from lapses of insecurity, petty jealousies and lower ego slumps.
There is nothing like a little insecurity creeping in to make your levels of self esteem and self worth plummet so fast that you did not see it coming!
In such situations, you feel less stronger, more unsure and are prone to negatively comparing yourself with other people or companies.
A lower ego brings about less accountability, i.e. you would blame others more than yourself; be in more denial and mentally generate much clouded judgement.
Examples of Egoistical Statements
The following statements are common examples of egoistical expression…have you come across any or all of these?
- “I can still work, even though I have retired. My work defines me.”
- “I want this, no I want that, no actually I want this, no, no, I really do want that.”
- “I know more than you because I am older than you; so you cannot know more than me.”
- “I can do this better/cheaper/faster than you!”
- “I know you are capable, but I am not sure if you can do this, but I am giving this task to you because I have nobody else who can do this for me.”
- “Why do you always have the good things and I don’t?”
Reading it like this makes it sound funny and you might be even nodding your heads and laughing to yourself right now, because you have either a) experienced this yourself – be it directly or indirectly, or b) you know what I mean even though you have not experienced this yourself in some way.
The thing is, it’s so easy to fall into an ego-trap, as the aforementioned examples show, but coming out of such traps can be difficult and even be permanent.
To come out of ego-traps requires mental strength, emotional intelligence and the confidence to pick yourself up, realise what the problem is, own up to it and then sort it out.
Let’s take a look at each of these steps in a little more detail…
Are you aware of your thoughts, your thought patterns, the directions in which your mind wanders and wonders? Do you take time to think before you carry out certain actions, or to make decisions? How much time do you take? When you’re thinking inside your head, what tone of voice do you hear yourself conversing in? Is the tone patient and kind, or is it sharp, chiding and argumentative?
Do you voice your emotions quite naturally and spontaneously, or do you keep them locked, stocked and barrelled? Do you release your emotions in controlled, measured ways, or do you remain unruffled about the consequences of your emotional expressions?
Picking Yourself Up
Depending on the severity of the ego slump that you are experiencing, you need to allow yourself time to go through it before you can be ready to heal and get yourself out from it. Often, we spend far too long denying that we even have an ego slump, or that we have fallen into an ego trap because we are embarrassed by it and consider ourselves ‘being stupid’ for falling into one in the first place. This embarrassment is usually a figment of our own imaginations and the sooner we can clear this away, the sooner we can do away with the ego trap.
Realising the Problem
An ego-trap makes you feel hurt and spiteful; makes you repent for earlier decisions and choices that you had made which lead you to your fears turning true. However, some things are meant to happen and if we become scared of making choices and decisions, we will never know whether our dreams can come true – or not.
Owning Up to It and Dealing with It.
This is where it takes almost all your inner resources to make yourself admit that you were in the wrong, or have been wronged. That you need to do something to about this; that you wish to learn from the whole experience. Talking to someone about it, whether it is a friend, a parent, a sibling, or a therapist HELPS!
Let 2014 be the year where we embark upon the complex journey of freeing ourselves from egotism.
All the best! 🙂