Wheww! July just came and went for me. What with juggling teaching, household chores, goings-out, etc, but I don’t wanna bore you with that!
I have some more quibbling issues playing on my mind at the moment, which have come across through various communications whilst doing the aforementioned in the past month.
I will call this my current List of Conundrums-which will grow, shrink and appear from time to time on my blogroll as and when I deem it fit to update you and not bore you so much that my ranting puts you off.
So here goes…
Sudakshina’s List of Conundrums- August 2012
1. How long will it really take for God-Knows-How-Old certain stereotypes to go away, for good? I am, of course, referring to the perennial assumption and assignment of us womenfolk having to get educated, earn a ‘decent/good’ living, cook/clean/sew (in a continuous loop, as mess made by men and others will hardly ever be cleaned up by the messers themselves!), have kids, raise kids, worry for kids, cope with family (both in-tended and extended) and their competitive pressures, maintain friendships, do the grocery shopping, stack the kitchen, attend to guests, etc. (if I have missed anything out, please let me know)?Yes, I know, women have had it much worse than what we are having to cope with in today’s day and age and I appreciate that very much indeed, don’t get me wrong. But how better off are we then our ancestors, really, especially in the grand scheme of things?
2. I can strongly sense the deep-seated belief that because women usually have a natural ability to nurture, raise and sustain a family, that they take a back-seat from the ticket to all-rounded progress that men have. I am not blaming men, nay am I being resentful (as women, we tend to make life difficult for our female comrades and this is a well-known secret amidst much of society worldwide). Those women who have made it big have had to give up having a ‘normal’ domestic, family life which most of us are just about manage to have, with our feet teetering on the verge of “Oh if I could just crash on my bed for a few hours, I’ll be fine” breaks, every so often! My question is: why do we as women face this struggle? Do men face it too? If not, what is it that they are doing- or not doing- which we are or are not?
3. How long will we go on mere appearances, when we all know not to judge a book by its cover and all that’s gold does not glitter? Does it really matter if I’ve come to a place by a bus, or a taxi, or a swanky car? Surely the fact that I am there should count for something too, right? If I am wearing expensive clothing, it’s because I choose to and if I’m wearing my favourite old nightie, again it’s because I choose to. Not all of us wear clothes that stand out to make a (positive or negative) point- sometimes it’s because we just can’t decide what to wear!
4.Why are we so damned lazy? I’m not blaming social media- their very purpose is to help us keep in touch with all the people we know. But how many of these people do we really, you know, Know?! Probably a handful, at best. Our lives have become so busy that the only way we can stay in touch with everyone is via the internet. But do we really need to be in touch with everyone? If we care for a handful, why don’t we spend more time and effort on having memorable experiences with them, instead of trying to spread ourselves so thin, that we are barely there?!
5.The final one for this (what is turning out to be heady) list, I promise. If we are all going to be so fiercely competitive, when will we learn to be accountable for our own responsibilities? How long will the passing-on-the-blame-game go on? Whatever the task is, someone has to do it, right?
So, who will it be? 🙂
Hi Rishi! Thanks very much! 🙂
Rishi Ghatak says
this is very good article well done
For the first conundrum: we are not that much better off than our ancestors…actually I think we have it worse because we are now having to juggle and balance work-life and home-life…we have stretched ourselves to exhaustion. If men share the house chores and day-to-day tasks like shoping, feeding the kids, etc (even making the bed is a start!) then we will be fine but most men (especially those from a traditional macho background) wont be so eager to do so. It depends on the country as well….my comment about “most men” may not apply as much in the West as it will in the East and parts of South.
For the second conundrum: Most men do not face the same struggle because they are not doing an awful lot to be honest. Especially in traditional families when it comes to nurturing it is the mother that is expected to “take care of things”….men only get involved as ‘the provider’ and the ‘head of the family’. This perception has ofcourse shifted in the west where there are stay-at-home dads but that is far from becoming a stereotype and is still frowned upon by most men.
For the third conundrum: Looks and vanity has always been part of what defines a woman (as disgusting as it may sound…its unfortunately true). Society has not changed in this sense….and I doubt it will ever change. It is actually getting worse in todays modern age due to ads with supermodels glossed and airbrushed all over and TV shows that promote “how to look good”. What has changed slightly is that men are also affected by looks compared to the past. I am sure in the 18th century looks where not one of the factors that women considered necessary in a man…as long as he had wealth and a good standing in society he was a prize!…whereas today women can be a bit more choosey and add looks to their list of necessities because of their independence.
For the fourth conundrum: I agree there are quite a lot of facebookers that spread themselves thin by interacting with more friends than they care to remember. Its one of the disadvantages of ‘staying in touch’…but there are a some who do not fall for that trap. I guess its up to each individual to realize how much time they are giving up by browsing through all their friends’ pages. Personally I usually go on fb to respond to notifications and check a few posts. Its rare that I go through a non-close friend’s profile…if I do there has to be a good reason for it. But I know quite a few people that spend hours going through several profiles…its quite meaningless really! It all depends on how you use fb. As for having too many friends….well people use fb as part of their network (on top of linkedn and other similar sites)….they shouldnt really as that’s not what fb was originally made for but there you go.
The final conundrum: passing-on-the-blame-game is going to be part of society like the game hide-and-seek…it wont expire. Its how society has learnt to deal with avoiding liability. Ofcourse there are some that dont play the blame game but in a corporate world its difficult not to…and especially with the examples that politicians set…its easier to point the finger than accept the consequences and penalties for one’s mistake.
Wheew sorry for the loooong essay….fingers just couldnt stop typing 😛